Wow - this is some exciting banter! Let me jus say that I am quite pleased to see so many people are aware of our business, Zimmerman, Young, and Associates. This is better publicity than Facebook! I can be reached at 866-410-8063 EXT 107. I would love to hear from you!
So here are the answers to frequently asked questions:
1. Our address is Zimmerman Young & Assoc., 2211 Sheridan Dr., Suite A, Buffalo NY 14223. But guess what - we are right on the border of Buffalo and Towanda, so any letters you send will always get returned! We rigged it so that there is totally confusion for the zip codes, ensuring no pesky written letters from you people ever get delivered to us!
2. Yes, we do routinely violate the Fair Debt Collection Practice Act. Yes that is illegal. Good luck prosecuting us though - our business can quickly disappear, and the next week we will start a new business with a new name - voile! We aren't afraid of the FTC, but we still get a little nervous when you threaten to tell on us!
3. No, you don't actually owe the money we are asking for. We would like you to pay us anyway!
4. No, there are not really any civil or criminal cases pending against any of you. Surprise!
5. No, there will be nothing garnished from your wages. No sheriff will serve you with a summons, and nothing has been filed in the court system in your county. Did we scare you? Fabulous!
6. We will continue you to call you, several times a day, using different people, live calls, and automated calls. I recommend that you do not answer our calls, but truthfully, we will keep it up for many months before giving up. Of course, if you like answering our calls, give us your ENTIRE SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, and date of birth. We would love to get even more information about you! Phish, phish, phish!
7. Yes, we are low life do***e bags, working in an industry even scummier than the payday loan business.
8. Yes, we practice being rude, disrespectful, intimidating, and bad a**. Although truthfully, we are all a**holes to begin with - we just got lucky enough to find jobs where we can be ourselves!
So, in closing, just give us your money!
Most of us working here have pretty serious gambling debts, drinking problems, coke habits, legal troubles, and huge child support payments that we are years behind in. Your contributions are seriously needed (but not tax deductible).
I look forward to talking to each and every one of you as soon as possible! And give us your money!
Zimmerman, Young, and Associates